The Desert Flower, the Clone, and the Holyman
by macadamia96
Summary: Temari. Sister. Diplomat. Babysitter? That's what it feels like to her. When sent as an emissary to Grass Country with an annoying newbie in the field, she feels like she'd do anything to escape, but her "rescue" isn't what she expected...or wanted...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer and Starting Notes: Ok, I do not own Naruto, this story is mine, **

**however. Let's see… some things you should know (although you should be able to pick up on it) **

_Italics unless bold are Temari/ another character's thoughts_

_The dots signal either a time skip, scene change, or…well you get the point _

_Enjoy…….._

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The road leading from Fire country into Grass country was one that had been laid over three hundred years ago. And it looked it.

Thick shards of rock stuck up at impossible angles, twisted out of the earth by the fighting of fierce combatants during the Ninja wars. Slender blades of grass stuck up between those broken giants and to either side of the path, creating a mishmash of colors and textures.

For several minutes, Temari just stared at it, fighting the urge to unleash a wind cutting jutsu on the overgrown foliage. She had only been to Grass country once in her life, and luckily she had taken the main road, not one of these god-forsaken back ones.

The sun illuminated her form as she dropped to the earth from the trees, landing quietly in swaying, yellow grass that reached the undersides of her arms. She made a face as she waded through the sea of grass towards her objective. _No wonder there are so many bandits in Grass country. Everyone here must be deprived of either their common sense or the money that they would need in order to leave._

Something ran up her thigh, and immediately she disappeared from sight, swearing under her breath while smacking at her leg. _Shit! Shit! Shit! Yeah, anybody living here must have something wrong with them…_

Temari's head popped back up above surface of the sea of grass and she looked around warily, hoping that no one had seen that, because not only had it been embarrassing, but, that would also mean that someone had been following her team without their knowledge.

"Temari-san! Temari-san! Can you believe all of this grass?! I cannot!"

At that exact moment, _the clone_ decided to make himself known. Sighing, Temari steeled herself for the onslaught of strange, contraction-free monologue she was sure was coming.

"Temari-san, have we finally arrived at the correct road? I scouted South like you told me to, but I could not find it. It was too bad that I could not tell you over the walkie talkie, but every time I tried to speak to you all I heard was this oddscratching sound."

The blonde broke her gaze away from the black fuzzy caterpillars her companion called eyebrows, as she realized that not only had she been staring at him, again, but that he had also finished speaking.

"Ah…I...Yeah, this is the road. So, let's go." She answered him, deciding not to mention that her radio had had a slight accident, said accident involving her foot and the hard forest floor repeatedly hitting the tiny headphone and speaker set until they were dashed to pieces. It had been very unfortunate.

She shifted her pack and consequently her fan, and began to walk forward, her leather nin-sandals flattening that detestable grass with every new step.

…………………………………………………..

_My god! What the hell do they feed those Leaf-nin? They must have some sort of crack in their daily rations…you'd have to be on something to talk this much…_

"…and then Gai sensei and I rode off into the sunset on the back of the giant beetle that had been defeated by the power of youth!"

_God…if you're listening…I know I haven't been exactly been…pious…or even a believer…but I swear I will follow your every word if you just shut this mutherfu- Lee…up._

Temari paused mid-step as she rounded the sharp corner and a quaint inn popped into view. She rolled her eyes to heaven and mouthed a silent thank you as Lee jolted to a stop behind her.

"Eh? Temari-san? We have stopped? ARE YOU INJURED? BY THE POWER OF YOUTH I SHALL CARRY YOU TO SAFETY! TEMARI-SAN!"

Temari recoiled sharply as she felt two strong arms throw themselves around her waist and hoist her bodily from the ground. Her back met the hard, warm surface that was Lee's chest. _God must have a sense of humor…_

"LEE! DAMMNIT! PUT ME DOWN!"

When her shouts of protest were ignored, Temari decided that she would have to resort to another method to get the young man to drop her. The blonde threw her weight to the right and with the help of the heavy (_and uncomfortable…people with metal fans strapped to their backs are not supposed to be lifted like that)_ fan she managed to tip the jogging Lee over.

The two landed in a tangle of limbs and in a matter of seconds, Temari had Lee pinned down. "I am not injured…only an idiot like you would actually think that when a person pauses in their step they're injured!" She snarled into the boy's face.

After a few seconds, she managed to rein in her violent temper and, having regained her composure, she continued on, "I do think we should stop here for the day, however."

"Night is falling and from what I've heard, we're deep in bandit country. Now I don't know about you, but when I meet the Daimyo of Grass country I want to have a full, undisturbed night's sleep under my belt."

Her hands flexed against his biceps, sending an understood warning to her companion. Tightening her hands a final time, she pushed herself off of Lee and stood. Lee blinked as the setting sun flashed into his eyes, the shadow that the angry blonde had cast over his face now gone.

Temari was busy readjusting her fan and pack into the position they had been in before the impromptu wrestling match when the brunette appeared beside her. The two stared warily at each other for a few moments before Lee's face was split by an uneasy grin.

"Temari-san…I have thought through your reasoning and I believe it is sound. It would be a problem if we showed up at the Daimyo's palace and then fell asleep on his lap, or accidentally mistook one of his family members as an enemy and dispatched them."

The girl grunted softly in a way that assured Lee that she had forgiven him for the moment. Turning away from her "teammate", Temari began to stalk towards the inn. Lee once again surprised by the blonde's sudden movement, lurched forward in an attempt to catch up.

He overcompensated, however, and ended up bumping into Temari again. Still unnerved from being picked up the first time, she reacted with primal instincts when his chest met her back, and used his forward momentum to throw him over her shoulder.

_Sense of humor? He must be a freaking comedian…._

……………………………………………….

The counter? Spotless. The walls? Clean and just repapered. The bookshelves next to the vase stand? Just dusted and reorganized. The floor? Covered in dirt and mud and unconscious, bleeding shinobi.

Beady, black eyes shot up to stare at the face, or what could be seen of it, of the giant masked man standing beside his freshly cleaned counter. "Give me your cheapest room." The squirrelly man behind the counter, surprised and frightened by the deep grumbling voice of his customer, snapped into action, mumbling apologies and assurances of a cheap but clean room.

Kakuzu felt something wet touch his arm and he glanced down. Hidan was holding his partner's arm in vice grip and was glaring at the man's lower back, because that was as high as he could see from his current less-than-comfortable position face down on the floor, with a death intent.

His blood slicked palm slowly slid down the arm, dying the pale, tattooed skin a temporary red. The limb landed on the dirty wood with a soft, wet _thunk_ and Hidan let out a muffled "Fuck".

"And an extra towel," Kakuzu added, "as long as it's free". The innkeeper nodded as he fumbled, searching through the rows of key holders on the wall. Finally, his eyes landed upon the desired room key and he grabbed it, nearly dropping it in his haste.

"This way my good sirs," he managed to squeek as he scuttled out from behind the counter.

Kakuzu turned and followed the small man down a wide hallway to the right of the greeting station, dragging Hidan behind him. The strange party stopped before a set of intricate shoji screens, the slender golden dragons and arching sapphire koi painted on each boasting of the inn's wealth.

With trembling hands, the innkeeper slid open the screens to reveal a medium sized set of rooms, simple but elegant.

"This is your cheapest room?" Kakuzu cast questioning eyes to his host.

"All our rooms cost the same amount, ah, but we have a discount for our shinobi patrons." The man stuttered nervously "The baths are down the hall. Dinner is at s-seven." He decided not to mention the rest of the inn's rules.

Kakuzu's eyes danced as he leaned closer to the panicking man. The cloth of his facemask danced as he spoke, "Don't forget the extra towel." Terrified, the innkeeper shot down the hallway, running for the requested terrycloth. As he neared the greeting station he slipped on the stripe of blood running up the center of the hall and face-planted into the wet hardwood floor.

"Are we going into the fucking room or are we just going to wait out here in this shitty excuse of a hallway until I lose all my fucking blood?"

The stitch master stepped into the room, dragging Hidan behind him roughly. The immortal let out a string of curses as his head slammed against the raised threshold and Kakuzu chuckled dryly before slamming the screens shut.

…………………………………………………

"One room please."

The innkeeper stared at the two ninja standing in his recently re-cleaned lobby. The young man in the green jumpsuit was shifting his weight from foot to foot, a large bruise marring the visible part of his forehead.

The woman was slightly smaller than the brunette, but much calmer. Her dark clothing and the air of danger surrounding her marked her as a kunoichi. Noticing his scrutiny, the woman glared at him, as if saying _Keep it up and you'll be missing an eye._

"Excuse me sir? One room please."

The tiny man glanced at the Konoha shinobi again and nodded that he had heard him. Turning slowly, he searched through the keys and chose one. He gave a mental sigh as he noticed that the shoes of both nin were caked in mud. The floors would have to be cleaned…again.

Silently, he led them down a hallway, past several ornate shoji screen doors and finally stopped in front of one.

"The men and women's hot-springs are down the hall. The dining room is to the left of the lobby. Dinner will be served at seven. Breakfast will be served tomorrow at eight."

Temari glanced at her surroundings curiously. The furnishings were surprisingly expensive for such a tiny inn.

"Fresh robes are available to all bathers. Also, since you are shinobi, I would like to alert you to the rules of the Shin-po Inn. While you are under our roof, we ask that you not attack other patrons. Any structural damage caused by you, you will pay to repair. If you need anything call on one of the staff. Good day."

Forest green and onyx met as the two shinobi glanced at each other and entered the rooms. Lee stretched and moaned after dropping his pack in the corner next to Temari's.

"I usually do not stay at inns when I am on missions, so this will be an interesting experience."

Temari grunted an acknowledgement as she knelt, searching through the series of shelves and cubbyholes to the right of the doors for the previously mentioned bathrobes. It had been almost two weeks since the mission had been assigned to the unlikely duo, and although both had been washing regularly, a bath in a hot spring was a welcome thing.

Finally finding what she had been searching for, the blonde pulled a long, dark blue robe off of the bottom shelf.

"I'm going to bathe before dinner. You might want to do the same, it's not like you smell like a pile of freshly picked roses. Besides, we might not find another inn like this. "

Lee grinned at her, and shrugged. "If you do not mind, Temari-san, I think I will just stay in the room and perform some katas. I have been getting rusty as of late."

"Suit yourself," she said, turning her back to him and exiting the room. The hallway was completely empty, and Temari glanced around warily as she neared the end of the hall.

Two doorways loomed at her, the long ribbons attached to the frames signaling that these were the entrances to the baths. As she neared them, she heard the happy chattering of relaxed people.

Temari ducked into the right doorway and stood in a small, organized locker room. Slowly, she peeled off her dirt and sweat encrusted clothes until she was standing in just her shoes and wrappings.

Rolling the dirty clothes into a ball, she stuffed them into a bottom locker, before pulling off her nin sandals. She curled her toes in pleasure as she wrapped one of the soft, light blue towels she had found at the bottom of the locker around her now nude form.

The girl smiled as she reached up with her free hand and pulled the hair bands that kept her hair out of her face from the golden mess. Shaking out her hair as she entered the shaded outdoor hot-spring, Temari grinned widely at what she saw.

Several women, all civilians judging by their long hair and unblemished skin, were playing volleyball with a large beach ball in the deepest part of the baths. Other girls were lounging on the foldout chairs around the edge of the bubbling water.

It had been a long time since she had been able to relax with other people around, and besides, civilians always made her giggle. Their uncoordinated attempts at playing sports usually had her rolling on the floor with laughter.

Temari let out a low moan as her aching back hit the hot, soothing water. _Oh…God that feels nice._ Glancing to her left, she saw a small, green haired girl staring at her. The blonde grinned at the child and spoke, "I've been traveling for awhile and this bath is so relaxing."

The little girl blinked and nodded. "You should stick your head under the water too! You can't hear nothing under there! It's so cool!" Happy with her advice the little girl ducked under the water.

Temari watched the spot where the girl had been for a few seconds before leaning her head back against the cool stones of the walkway. She let out a low moan as the coolness on her neck and face and the warm bubbling water on her back worked their soothing mojo.

Suddenly, a pale, manicured hand shot into the water next to her and dragged the green haired girl out of the water.

"Kin. Come on, dinner is waiting in the room. We don't have time for children's games. When are you going to grow up? Ne?

The Suna native shifted slightly so she could peer up at the angry woman. Light, graying green hair marked the woman as Kin's mother. "A child is only a child for a short period of time; you shouldn't treat her so harshly. But then again how could I expect someone _like you_ to understand the importance of such a thing."

"Oh, and who exactly are you that you can judge the way someone like me raises their child? Eh?"

Temari sighed and turned around, water dripping off of her arms and hair as she pushed herself halfway out of the water. The woman's eyes widened as she got a look at the top of the younger girl's back and shoulders.

A deep scar ran from the swell of her right shoulder, across the length of her back in a half circle, to end inches from where the left side of her neck met her body. Six long scratches, freshly stitched shut, carved out the flesh of her left side, their long, macabre fingers stretching from her collarbone to the underside of her shoulder blade.

Smirking, Temari sank back into the water and pointed to her right shoulder. "I've had this one since I was seven." She chuckled, "Got into a fight with my younger brother. His puppet cut open my back, my kunai cut open his leg."

"These beauties," She fingered the gauges, "I got three weeks ago, took the medics six hours to close up." The blonde glanced at the little girl. Kin stared at the relaxing ninja, a look of awe plastered on her face.

"Just some friendly advice, but if you don't want your kid ending up like me, an assassin and bodyguard, treat her a little better. I have a feeling if you keep jerking her around like she's some dog that can be taught not to take food from the table she's going to do what any self respecting dog would do. Bite you in the ass."

With those last words to the disturbed woman and her daughter, Temari slid under the surface of the water. _Huh…would you look at that…she was right. You really can't hear anything down here._

She watched entranced as strands of gold created a halo around her face. Her lungs began to ache from holding her breath, but instead of surfacing she just focused a small amount of chakra into her lungs, relieving some of the building pressure there.

There was a sudden exodus by all the women in the pool, and Temari glanced around, curious. _Is some fat ass going to do a cannon ball? Maybe someone really smelly is coming in?_

Finally, too intrigued to stay underwater any longer, (not to mention her chakra enhanced air supply had finally run out), the Suna nin surfaced.

Everyone was gone. The beach ball from the impromptu volleyball game was bobbing up and down in the middle of the hot-spring, lonely and abandoned. _Maybe I scared them all away. Damn. Well, their loss._

_**Slosh.**_

Slowly, Temari swiveled around to stare in the direction that the sound had come from.

"You are aware that this is the women's spring, right?"

"Holy Shit. This is the _women's _bath? You must be a fucking genius. I mean, seriously, how long did it take your little brain to work out that shit load of a sentence?"

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**Hello…Macadamia here…umm I hope you like the story so far… I will begin working on the next chapter of Art of Terror soon…I just sort of got side tracked **

**by the first chapter of this story and an idea for another story involving Temari and the Akatsuki…Please review and let me know if I should continue on with **

**this story…Soo… That's it… Happy reading people!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters mentioned, the storyline however, is mine….so there…NYAH!!**

**And special thanks to MangoMousse for letting me know about the formatting mistakes...they have been corrected! Arigato! Danke! And in further news, this **

**story has _not_ and _will not_ be abandoned...because, well I just love this storyline too much!**

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Temari had experienced many strange things in her relatively short lifetime. She had seen a four year old child break a grown oak tree, almost twenty feet thick, in half with a single finger flick. A sandstorm had provided her shelter from her undesired and rather persistent suitor (he had been six foot seven and had had only one lopsided eyebrow). She had even had the singularly dull task of rearranging the living room of Gi, the second oldest advisor in the Kazekage's cabinet (the image of a large pile of used _Big Boy_ condoms hidden under a low, curving daybed was still burned into the back her mind's eye).

But not once, in her entire life, had she ever been alone, nearly naked, sharing the same hot (suddenly very hot) bath water with any man other than her younger brother Kankuro, besides, at the time they had been seven and eight and had been separated by a screen so, that experience didn't really count for anything.

Still, Temari was a trained shinobi, a veteran in her field, and like all ninja, she was skilled at hiding emotion. So, instead of gaping at the silver haired like an idiot, she slowly raised one of her dainty, pale eyebrows.

Hidan stared at the girl for a few moments, a rather smug smirk plastered on his face as he waited for her blush and stuttering answer. Instead of a reply, however, she simply turned around and laid her arms and forehead against the walkway stones, a low chuckle escaping from her body. He tensed. That reaction not quite the one he was expecting.

"Four seconds, about ten minutes faster than it took your brain to register those two words on the sign by the door that said _Ladies Bath_."

"Whoa, what the fuck did you just say to me, Girlie?" Temari chanced a glance back over her bare shoulder and Hidan blinked slowly, uncrossing his arms, as an icy, knowing smile (it was really more like a smarl, or smile-snarl) flashed over the girl's face.

"Ne? Don't you understand English? Perhaps I should slow down? Why…are…you…in…here…baka?"

"Where the hell else would I bathe? If you haven't noticed, I'm covered in all this god damn shit!" He motioned furiously to the dark streaks on his upper body, tiny beads of water pulling on his pale skin. "They have a men's bath here too, dipshit."

"Do I look like some kind of fucking gay to you? Who the fuck wants to take a bath where you constantly have to dodge other people's dicks? Seriously."

An image of the young man doing just that flickered through her mind and Temari had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing at him outright.

For a few moments, her shrewd eyes assessed Hidan and, after deciding that she could probably take him down if she really needed to, she turned her body fully around to face him and leaned her head back against the pavement. "What?"

The young woman rolled her eyes and repeated her statement grudgingly, "I said, 'As long as you keep at least four feet away from me, you can stay.' Are you deaf or just stupid?"

"Gee, thanks Girlie. I just don't know what I would have done with myself if I didn't get your fucking permission. I'm about to shit myself I'm so happy. Seriously."

Pulling a nasty face at the young woman, Hidan began to busy himself with scrubbing off the top layer of dirt and blood on his bicep. After watching the muscles in his back flex with his movements for a few minutes, Temari shut her eyes and sank deeper into the water, soon lulling off into an extremely light dose.

……………………………………………………………………

The first sensation Temari felt was something wet and hard barely skimming back and forth across the tip of her nose. With a start, her eyes snapped open and her hands shot forward intent on dealing massive damage…

only to be clenched mid-strike. Hidan glared down at the girl with a miffed look, shifting her hands so that his larger one grasped her thinner ones more securely. "What the hell are you doing?" Temari hissed, not liking at all how close the man's washboard abs were to her face or the fact that both of her wrists were currently locked in a vice grip.

_Well, at least it wasn't something else hard and wet that brushed against my face. O god! What the hell is wrong with me?_

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Hidan's words echoed her thoughts uncannily. She sent him a glare that could boil the skin off of a toad (quite a powerful glare, I assure you), and viciously tried to tug her wrists free. "Let go of me asshole!"

With a disgruntled grumble that sounded suspiciously close to "_No fucking way bitch_", he leaned over her head and snatched some soap from the small mountain of precariously stacked bars threatening to spill over the edge into the bubbling current.

Temari was quite dismayed by this action as it caused her nose to rub against his previously mentioned wet abs and her mouth to be covered by the knot of his towel, which just happened to be riding dangerously low on his waist. _Oh no you didn't!_

In a sudden violent motion, the girl uncrossed her legs underwater and thrust them between those of the man's, while she pushed forward with her trapped hands. The quick maneuver threw Hidan off balance and he crashed into the hot water with a loud splash, releasing her as he went under.

With urgent speed, the Suna nin began pulling herself out of the pool. Suddenly, her left leg, still submerged to the midcalf, was yanked violently downward. Temari let out a fierce snarl as she slid backwards, alternating between clutching the ground and holding her towel, which was threatening to abandon her in favor of the ground, up.

Hidan stared upward expectantly as more and more of his bath-mate's surprisingly smooth and well shaped legs were brought into view. At first he had been pissed, but, now that he was getting an eyeful, the man was more than happy he had been pushed underwater. She still had the towel cocooned around herself and it was blocking his rather lovely line of vision, however.

He smirked and reached out of the water, tugging at the wet cloth obstinately. With a small shriek, (whose utterance she would deny until her dying day), Temari lashed out with her free leg, catching the submerged man square in the face with her heel.

Gagging as his jaw popped out of place and water shot up his nose, Hidan flailed around for several seconds before he regained his balance and surfaced, issuing a long stream of words that would stop even the most hardened criminals in their tracks for several seconds. Glancing around angrily while clutching his face with one hand, he realized that he was alone in the large courtyard.

"Bitch," he snarled, wincing in pain before looking down at the bubbling water. Something gray was lying against the brown pebbled spring-bed, its corners twisting in the current. Hidan dipped under the surface and snatched the thing off the bottom.

Holding it up to his face, it took a few moments for him to realize what it was and but when he did, he burst out in laughter. "Heh…what the fuck are you gunna do without your towel, Girlie?"

…………………………………………………………..

Rock Lee gazed forlornly at his bowl of soup, using his chopsticks to push around the fat wonton noodles. _He had been about to break his vertical pushup record of 1, 809 when a disheveled Temari had crashed into the room, nearly breaking the screen in the haste with which she slammed it shut._

_The loud noise and unexpected entrance of his partner was enough to interrupt his concentration and he tottered forward dangerously but managed to right himself._

A shadow slowly crept across his plate and Lee glanced up at the approaching Suna Nin. She cast him a wary glance as she pulled out the chair across from his and sat down. Pursing her lips, the girl glanced around trying to locate the waiter.

_In her apparent haste to get back to the safety of the room, she hadn't noticed that the knot of her robe had come undone and as she turned to face her partner, the terrycloth garment opened. For a few seconds Lee just stared at her lithe, well proportioned body, before what he was seeing actually registered in his brain and his arms gave out._

In an uncharacteristic quiet voice, Temari ordered a bowl of pork ramen from the singularly unattractive waiter then cast her partner a wary glance. Fiddling with the edge of her short purple skirt, (her typical black dress was still rolled up in a ball at the bottom of the bathroom locker), the girl cleared her throat and opened her mouth to speak.

_After a few moments of staring at the heap of green spandex that was her mission partner, Temari felt a light breeze drift across her stomach as the air conditioning system clicked on. Glancing down, she saw more of herself than she was expecting. With a muffled gasp, she turned around and hurriedly fastened the robe shut, a bright blush creeping across the back of her neck. _

"What did you order, Lee-san?" She said awkwardly, having decided to completely wipe the embarrassing experience from earlier out of her psyche. The youth glanced up from his soup, ready to dodge the female's fist. When it became apparent to him that she wasn't out to bash his skull in for getting a gander at her goodies, he answered her. "Ah… It is the house special, wonton soup."

Temari gave the soup a quick once over before raising an eyebrow. "If it's wonton soup, why is the broth that strange red color?" "I added a few spoonfuls of hot-sauce to it. It gives the soup more flavor. The only downside to adding the jalapeno sauce to the soup is tha-"

Just then, a loud grumbling sound flooded the room and to Temari's chagrin and Lee's horror, the other patrons of the café turned to stare at the source of the noise. Scooting to the edge of his chair, the flushed brunette curled over the tabletop, gripping at the gum covered underside.

It appeared that the downside of the hot-sauce was not just powerful, but was also fast acting.

Panting harshly he gave the blonde a quick, pained look before rushing past the pockmarked waiter and into the Men's Room. A few moments later, the monste…server arrived and placed the steaming bowl of ramen on the table.

Slowly, the other patrons returned to their own meals and conversations, a few of the overly curious ones earning a hearty glare from the lone inhabitant of the table. As she turned around and reached for her chopsticks, the waiter slipped a piece of shiny paper under the regular cutlery near the empty seat and with a bow, crept away.

_Hopefully to hide his face in a dark corner of the room._

Mouth still full of pork and scraggly noodles, the curious Temari reached over and plucked the paper off the crimped green tablecloth. She cast a quick glance at the numbers on the bill and promptly spit out her entire mouthful of ramen. Grabbing a napkin, she began to pat her chest and tablecloth dry as she furiously waved the maître d' over.

As the absurdly large man made his way over to her table, the blonde watched his too tight jacket stretch every time his arms moved and gripped her butter knife a little tighter, ready to deflect any flying buttons. Breaking her gaze from his chest, she motioned to the check and whispered accusingly,

"I don't know what your boss is trying to pull, but that charge is way too high for a bowl of wonton soup and pork ramen. Your normal customers may not notice false charges on their bills, but I am not a normal customer!"

Flinching back slightly as the angry girl slammed her fist lightly on the table, sending the soup sloshing onto the tablecloth, he answered, "Might I ask what the false charges are, madam?"

"Right here baka! This charge for _Shao's Special Sake_, I didn't order any sake and my partner, the dumbass, probably doesn't even know what sake is!" She snarled, eyes narrowing dangerously.

Unconsciously backing up a half step, the large man raised his hands in a defensive gesture and muttered apologetically that he would ask the waiter why the flask of alcohol had been added to the bill.

As she waited for the maitre'd's return, Temari did a quick survey of the room. There were two small families sitting near one another in the left corner of the room, the young children throwing bits of food at each other. Nearby, a tall, thin woman and her short escort, obviously her brother by the similarity of their features, were sitting in a booth chomping away amiably at their seafood.

For a brief second, sadness flashed through the young woman's eyes. Her own family had never been close. Sure, she had grown up in the same area as Kankuro, but they had never really shared any real sibling love. The two had been raised separately, each growing and learning from the special Jounin that were masters in their own respective techniques.

Thinking back, she had only seen her middle brother five times before Gaara was born. Three times at the bi-monthly family dinners their mother insisted upon having, once when she had run into him on the street before being dragged away by her sensei, and once when she and her mother and her uncle had visited him in the hospital after he had fallen and broken his arm.

Her father, the Kazekage at the time, had seriously disapproved of the visit, chiding his wife and brother-in-law that visiting the boy while he was in the hospital for such a minor injury would make him soft. Then, Gaara was born and their mother died.

The family dinners stopped abruptly and the only time she saw her brothers was when their caretakers brought them in to give reports of the siblings' progress to the Kazekage or when she was forced to spar with one of them. When she was eight, the three children were assigned to the same team, much to the disapproval of their father who said that he wanted at least one of his normal offspring to survive so that his genes would be carried on.

Her hand tightened subconsciously on her glass of water sending spider web cracks along the bottom. His _normal _children. As if Gaara was some sort of evil being that would spawn two headed lizards with its mate.

"Ah, it appears that we have found the reason for the price discrepancy." Temari dropped the cup as if was on fire. A little too sharply she turned to face the maitre'd, disturbed that she hadn't heard him walk up to the table.

"Your partner, ordered the _Shao's Special Sake_. He told us that his teammates would foot the bill and then he pointed towards you two." As the girl's gaze followed the direction of the man's pointing finger her anger flared.

"That is not my teammate! I don't even know his name!Fine, Damnit! I'll sort this out, you just take that charge off of our check," she snarled as she got up and marched across the room to where the man from before was sitting precariously in his chair, the two front legs up in midair.

Slamming her hands down on the table hard, she gave him a scalding glare and hissed, "Just what the hell are you trying to pull?"

He gave her a coy look before brushing a hand through his silver hair. "Well, what the fuck can I say? I'm old school, seriously. Before anyone gets me fuck naked in a bath with them, I at least want one shitty drink, and since you and I took a little dip in the tub and I didn't get jack shit beforehand, I felt you owed me a little something."

"What the hell are you talking about?! You got into the goddamn tub after me! IT WAS THE WOMEN'S BATH ASSHOLE!"

A huge grin stretched across his face as he watched the pretty young woman rage. "Holy Shit! Would you stop being such a tight wad? I mean, it's not my fault you didn't get out of the water when I got in, seriously."

"Excuse me…I have your sake here…"The waiter timidly whispered as though afraid that the ninjas would turn on him. For a few seconds the blood left Temari's face before flushing back up to the surface as she reached a new depth of anger.

"No…you, put that on that table over there! See the one? With the two bowls? GO!" She hissed, nearly throwing the unfortunate man to her table. "Whoa, what the fuck did you do that for bitch?!"

……………………………………………………………………………….

Lee let the toilet seat drop shut with a clunk as he turned to leave the stall, feeling much better (yes, yes he did flush). Stretching as he approached the sink, he silently thanked the heavens he was not the poor soul who had to clean the bathrooms after his visit.

A few minutes later he left the bathroom and returned to an empty table, looking around curiously when he saw no signs of Temari anywhere. With a sigh, he sat down and glanced at the tall pitcher sitting in the middle of the table.

The other waiters were carrying similar water jugs so he filled his empty glass to the brim with the clear liquid and took a long swig.

Three things happened very quickly. One: Lee finally caught sight of Temari. Two: As he got up to go talk to her his world blacked out. Three: Everyone in the café turned to stare at the young brunette as he put his fist through the table.

…………………………………………………………………….

After incapacitating two chefs, the waiter, the tall woman, and the maitre 'd Lee was finally captured through the joint efforts of Hidan and Temari. Both of whom were sitting in front of the very angry, very short innkeeper.

"Do you even realize how much damage your teammate did to my inn?! Eighteen tables snapped in half! Four of the wait staff debilitated! I'll have to hire replacements! One of our most valued customers was punched out! She could sue us!"

"WOAH! Hey, that asshole is not my fucking teammate. Neither is Blondie over there! I'm just an innocent bystander! Seriously!"

"What do you mean Wasei? Of course you're our partner! We couldn't have a team without you!"

Hidan shot the smirking Temari a death glare from behind the icepack he was holding to the side of his face. The little green twerp had surprised him by throwing a dish and had landed a good hit.

"First off my name isn't fucking Wasei, it's Hidan! H-I-D-A-N! And second off, I'm not on your fucking team!"

"Stop lying to yourself Was-"

"Listen, I don't care if you're on the same team or not, you know the rules of the inn and you have to pay for the damages! A charge of three million yen will be added to each of your tabs!"

"Three million yen?! NO FUCKING WAY ARE YOU GETTING THAT MUCH MONEY FROM ME ASSHOLE!"

"No wonder you have such expensive furnishings here, you not only overcharge your customers but your estimates for the damages are way overpriced. These damages are maybe worth two hundred thousand yen, and that's a high estimate."

"That is what I'm charging you regardless! Now get back to your rooms before I have you all escorted there! And if there is anymore damage…I will double your bill!"

Hidan and Temari exchanged angry glances before the young woman got up and strutted out of the room, stopping to throw the restrained man over her shoulder. Hidan gave the innkeeper one last glare before stomping out of the room, silently dreading Kakuzu's reaction to the news that on top of the room price, they would have to pay three million yen to the inn.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Okay, I am back. It has been awhile…chapter 5 of The Art of Terror is under way…I've just been lazy…anyway, for those of you who are wondering, Wasei means sister boy in Japanese (it's the equivalent to sissy)…umm in other news I was absolutely stunned by the number of reviews the first chapter received! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! IN FACT OUTDO YOURSELVES WITH THIS CHAPTER! My goal is to get 50 reviews before chapter four…ok so I hope you like chapter 2 of The Desert Flower, the Clone, and the Holyman. As a heads up, the next chapter will have Kakuzu x Temari, Hidan x Temari, and maybe even some more Lee x Temari. CHEERIO! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own the story line and the inn keeper. That's all. So...don't sue me...please?**

**My thanks to all of my reviewers (in no particular order): spriterx, JenKonoha, Amaterasu77, Curry Bird, KimiTien, Sakura7403, Lina-Neko, Bobbet the Kitty, Keyblade Ninja- Nye, Raven the Guardian, leanna10123, Solshine, and whoever OO is...**

**And special thanks go out to: Friglit, and foxfeather1337 who reviewed for both chapters**

**With super-special thanks to: Little Kunai (who has left a review on just about everything I've ever made), and MangoMousse who leaves awesomely long, constructive reviews!**

**And if I missed your name or misspelled it please, let me know. **

**Enjoy**

**...**

To say that Temari was furious as she dragged an unconscious Lee back to their room would be an understatement. A grievous understatement.

If, when God had created the world he had gifted her with the unique ability to shoot laser beams from her retinas several people (namely her brothers, that _Hidan _person, clone-boy, that fat little cheapskate innkeeper, and the entire) would be missing some very important procreation necessary parts.

_Oh_, she thought, glancing down at the floor and the small, pudgy dog that had been nipping at her heals since she had left the inn keeper's office, _and there would be one less mutt in the world. I didn't think an inn like this even allows pets._

For a few moments she entertained the idea of punting the dog into the nearest room, and even readied her foot, but stopped abruptly when she caught sight of the blue bandana threaded around its neck. Blinking slowly in recognition of the symbol emblazoned on the cloth, Temari unceremoniously dumped Lee to the ground, squatted down, and held out her hand expectantly.

The dog held her gaze for a moment then nodded to itself and began to make retching noises, crouching down closer to the awaiting palm. Screwing up her face as a spit covered scroll appeared in her hand; she quietly thanked the courier, who disappeared in a puff of smoke, and tried to figure out where to wipe the slobber off.

She smiled devilishly when her focus latched onto Lee. _The bastard deserves it, _the young woman thought running her wet fingers through his hair, effectively turning the bowl cut into a Fohawk.

Moments later, she was pocketing the message as she rounded the corner to their hallway, Lee's head bouncing off the ground as she pulled him along by one arm.

**…………………………………………………………………...**

If Temari had been furious, then Kakuzu was _fucking pissed._ Hidan was crouched on the floor cradling the only organs he had been able to find, tears streaming from his eyes, curses streaming from his mouth.

"You fucking asshole! Why the fuck would you do that shit to anyone, seriously?! Not even I'm that heartles-" his tirade was cut off as his own intestine managed to find its way around his neck.

Giving the makeshift noose a sharp tug, the Falls-nin growled menacingly, "You want to see heartless? Just wait until you see how fucked up the other assholes will be when I'm through with them..."

"Now," Kakuzu hissed, actually lifting his partner several inches off the ground with the digestive organ, "tell me who they are."

Hidan's answer came out as a garbled string of choking noises and unidentifiable word segments. Realizing that the younger man's voice box wouldn't work at the current angle his neck was bent in, Kakuzu dropped him to the floor, his impatience for receiving the damning information winning out over his morbid fascination with injuring the Jashinist in ways that no one else on earth could have been able to endure.

After delivering a bone crunching kick to his partner's already bloody abdomen, the parsimonious ninja strutted to the nearest bed and plopped down, staring expectantly at the angry, swearing man writhing on the ground.

"What the fuck was that for?! Bastard!"

"Hurry up and spit it out, Hidan. If I don't find out who's going to pay for this," he brought the torn, stained bill out of his pants pocket and waved it menacingly, "I'll transfer that debt to you. And trust me when I say this, the amount of blood they would have shed? You'll pay triple."

"Why don't you just kill the little shit of an innkeeper?! Solves both our problems! Hell, I'd perform a ritual on the sucker myself if I thought Jashin wouldn't be royally pissed that I sent him such an ass, seriously!"

Kakuzu flashed his partner the look he reserved for only the most idiotic of responses. "Look around. Have you noticed the expensive decor they have, even though the surrounding area is desolate? The distinct lack of bandits? Use that pathetic little pea brain of yours for once."

"Why the hell does any of that shit matter?" Hidan replied hotly, pushing his liver out of the way so he could shove his bruised organs back into his chest cavity.

"This place is run by the crime lords. The inn keeper _and_ the inn belong to them."

Hidan blinked, pausing in his ministrations to glance at the older man.

"If they own him, why was he so fucking scared of you when you were buying a room here? The dude nearly shit himself. I could almost smell it, seriously."

"He must be new, someone who isn't completely sure of his own power yet. By the way, you owe me sixteen thousand yen for the room, on top of the four million that that scuffle will cost you."

"Fuck you, asshole. The charge was only three million yen."

"The extra is a processing fee. But, I'll tell you what, if you let slip who exactly the other people involved in the fight were, I'll reduce your debt to two million sixteen thousand yen."

"You fucking scrooge. One of these days I'm going to shove that fucking wallet of yours right up your ass. Fine, it was some blonde bitch. A real feisty, proud one too."

Hidan rose slowly, kicking away an empty box of band-aids before continuing, "She's not too tall, only comes up to about my shoulder. I got poked in the Goddamn eye by her fucking hair though. Spiky as hell."

"Her hair gave you the black eye?" Kakuzu replied dryly, his gaze drifting across the fresh sunrise marring his partner's face, one of the few areas he himself hadn't obliterated in his tirade.

"What? That bitch didn't give me a black eye! It was her fucking partner, some idiot in a green jumpsuit, dumb bastard. Leave that asshole to me. I'll shove his tongue so far down his throat he'll be able to lick his own hemorrhoid."

"No. I'll handle this. I've seen the outcome of your work already." Came the Falls-nin's dry reply. "Here, I think you dropped this."

Hidan cursed as a gall bladder hit his face with a wet thwack.

**...**

"Not good."

Shrewd forest eyes narrowed slightly as they continued flitting further down the scroll. The messily written script -_Holy shit! This guy has almost the same writing as Gaara-_ relayed the Grass Country Daimyo's desire to move the meeting with the two diplomats from Suna and Konoha up to-

"-tomorrow night?! What the hell is that pompous asshole trying to pull?"

She knew very well, however, why he had chosen to move the date. It was a common practice of both Daimyo and Kages to reschedule the meetings, forcing the traveling shinobi to speed their treks considerably.

Not only did it confuse and tire out novice ambassadors, reducing them to babbling masses of exhausted muscles and muddled thoughts, allowing the leaders to gain the upper-hand at the bargaining table, but also provided an insight into just how skilled as shinobi they were. That was why Temari, a level headed, elite ninja and veteran emissary (not to mention the Kazekage's own sister) had been chosen from Suna.

Lee, she could only surmise had been chosen for similar reasons, although, it was a known fact that this was his first diplomatic mission, so perhaps he had been chosen for his boyish charms?

The Suna native glanced over at her unconscious partner, sitting propped up in the chair next to her, (God it had been like pulling teeth trying to heave him up there), a long stand of drool connecting his slumped head to his shoulder. _Okay, maybe not._

Perhaps he was some sort of mediation super genius? _Not with eyebrows like those._

_Or_, she mused silently as a snot bubble formed from his left nostril, _maybe Konoha just doesn't care that much._

Temari snorted and switched her gaze back to the scroll, rereading it a final time. In order to make the deadline they would have to leave in the next two hours and travel without stopping for breaks or camp and even then it would be cutting it close.

With a dejected sigh, she rose from her chair and strutted over to the messy cubbyhole, her eye twitching in agitation when it rested upon her fat coin purse. It was about to get a lot lighter. Which might just be a good thing considering the growing likelihood that she would have to carry Lee in addition to both of their packs for the first few hours of their journey.

_Well, there go my vacations for the next four years,_ she thought darkly as she finished counting out the bills she would need to pay to the inn for reparations. Setting the sizable stack of yen to the side, Temari began to systematically shove whatever she could reach into the two empty packs strewn across the floor, her anger, temporarily alleviated by the arrival of the messenger, returning full force.

_Gaara's never going to live this down. First he sets me up on a mission with spandex-man, who just can't seem to wrap his tiny little brain around the mysteries that are contractions, to the godforsaken land of __**Grass**__, where giant freaking insects reign supreme, so that I can meet with some pompous blueblood Daimyo to make sure that the Suna-Konoha alliance gets that large shipment of popping corn they __**need**__ so badly at a reduced price!_

_What the hell kind of ninja eats popcorn anyway?!_ At that thought, an image of Gaara, Baki, and Kankuro, along with the rest of Suna's council dancing happily around a large wooden conference table with bowls of buttery popcorn held aloft over their heads flitted through her mind. An orange legwarmer hit the bottom of Lee's pack violently.

_Then,_ she was literally throwing wads of clothing, weapons, and various survival tools (some with very suspicious green and orange handles) into the bags now: _Just when I thought I found my saving grace,__I somehow manage to end up at the most expensive inn on the whole damn continent and when I go to take one simple, hot bath, I meet the biggest jackass the world has ever seen! _

The timber flooring underneath the tatami mats protested loudly as she stomped her way to the table, slammed the stack of yen down and snatched the little scroll that had dredged up the worst of her temper off the wood tabletop, snapping it shut with an audible click before shoving it into a side compartment in her knapsack.

Realizing belatedly that the pattern of aching back, double pack, metal fan, large heavy boy would not exactly be the most comfortable travelling arrangement, she unbuckled the bags and placed them on the veneered wood next to her fan then made her way back to Lee.

With an unladylike grunt, Temari tried to lift her unconscious comrade onto her back, but to no avail. He ended up hitting the floor (somehow he had missed the chair) with a hard crack and the blonde was left wondering just how she had managed to flip him over her shoulder earlier that morning.

"Okay, clone-boy," she crouched down irritably next to him not quite sure if she was ready to feel him up to find the source of his unearthly weight, "let's see what you got." A green spandex ones-y was not the best place to hide large heavy objects.

Silently steeling herself for the upcoming unwanted groping that would have to be done (for the sake of the mission), she gripped the man's chunin vest and held his upper body off the floor with one hand while the other shot out to search his chest pockets.

Scarlet flashed up the back of her neck before settling on her face. If Kankuro had seen her now, all but molesting her unconscious partner, he would have been thrilled. Yet another source for insults (as if her...unique...hairstyle and love affair with fishnet was not enough)! Gaara would just stare at her as if she had grown a second head, which was pretty much how he looked at her all the time.

But, she decided grumpily as her thumb slid underneath the Konoha forehead protector tied around his waste, she would persevere and she would survive this ordeal and would get those sniveling Suna-bastards their popcorn at half price and she would be that much stronger for it!

Everything seemed normal behind the hitai-ate, so Temari quickly moved her hand away from _that_ area and down to his left legwarmer. It seemed that luck was not on her side, however, when her fingertip brushed against his lower abs on the way down and Lee gave a sharp mumble while arching towards her.

The Suna-nin drew back as if she'd touched a poisonous snake (albeit one wearing an orange tube sock), and watched the brunette warily until he seemed to settle down. Gingerly, she tried the legwarmer again, this time keeping a large amount of space between her hands and that over sensitized danger zone.

This time she was successful and she let out a triumphant shout as her hand closed around the weight tied to his...bare leg?

"Shit!" Temari exclaimed as her hand met bare skin and she swiftly pulled away again. Curiously, she nudged the orange knit fabric down around his ankle and pulled the dark lead off of his leg and onto the floor, revealing the extremely muscular calf of a taijutsu specialist.

Every ninja, unless they possessed the extreme healing power of a Jinchuriki or were so powerful that no one could get within three feet of them without bursting into flames or being attacked by various small woodland creatures, had scars. If a skilled medic-nin was part of their team, the scars would be lighter and the skin smoother, but the warped flesh that accompanied the shinobi profession would still be present.

As hidden villages went, Suna was one of the worst in terms of their medical facilities and health care provision. Due to its desert location, medicinal herbs common in Grass and Fire were rare and had to be saved for life threatening situations, and even then only if the life in question was worth saving. So everyone in Suna, civilian and ninja alike, had scars.

Everyone that is, excluding Gaara. Which was just another way -his opponents would say- he wasn't normal and therefore another reason that he shouldn't be the one in charge.

But even though Temari had grown up around infections, oozing wounds, and grisly scars, she had never seen anything like this.

The skin of Lee's leg was rippled with what looked like pockmarks on both sides and long claws of dark scar tissue curled cruelly up and around his calf, disappearing into the soft green spandex resting just above his knee.

Slowly, she placed her hand on his skin. His muscle was hard and well formed, but in some places there were bumps and raised stripes of _something_. Perplexed, she ran a calloused fingertip over some of the bumps and realized glumly what exactly they were.

Bone shards. That meant the welts were tendons and muscles that had snapped and hadn't been successfully reattached.

In sharp contrast to all the times she had witnessed Gaara's sand techniques in action, she had not once been able to see the after effects of one, especially such a long time afterwards. No one had ever made it out of one of her youngest brother's attacks with their limbs in working order (the usual consistency of the body parts afterwards made Jello seem like a sturdy building-worthy material), and she had only known of two people who had escaped with their lives. _Here is one of them._

Carefully, in an almost reverent fashion, the Suna-nin rolled the legwarmer back up and performed the same ritual (minus the embarrassing leg caress) on his other calf. The floor gave a loud groan of protest and buckled slightly when Temari piled the second lead weight onto the first one.

Sucking her bottom lip idly, she grabbed her partner's arms and manipulated them so that they curled up around her shoulders and crossed in front of her neck. Making sure that his large hands didn't drift too far below her collarbone, she clasped his wrists together so that she could drag him over to their discarded packs and her fan.

After fastening the bag straps across Lee's back and her chest, effectively tying them together, Temari thrust her fan through the back of his vest and tied hitai-ate, silently thankful that her weapon seemed secure there.

Her movement would be limited enough already with a man tied to her back, she didn't need to be unarmed as well.

Casting a last lazy eye about the room to see if there was anything that she had missed packing, (she stubbornly ignored the leg weights, because _like hell_ was she moving them again), Temari slid the ornate screen door shut and shifted so that majority of her burden was being carried by her upper back and shoulders.

That meant Lee's nose was tucked firmly against her neck, his short cool breaths fogging up the steel of her hitai-ate, while his eyelashes tickled the tops of her clavicle. The Suna-nin decided to ignore the rather intimate position of his head as she marched off in search of the inn keeper.

**...**

Temari found the small man curled up in a tiny red armchair behind the check in counter, his nose stuck in a tattered edition of _Home and Garden_. Unable to ring the service bell (because _someone_ had decided to begin kicking in his sleep and she needed her free hand to keep his foot from breaking her freaking rib), she settled for an unsubtle cough.

The inn keeper's beady little eyes darted up to the young woman and when he realized who she was and what she was carrying, his frown deepened slightly. He stood slowly and placed his magazine face down on his empty seat before grumpily asking, "What?"

A single blonde brow twitched as she answered him in an equally grumpy voice, "Do you want your money or not?"

His face brightened considerably at this and he eagerly reached for the stack of paper clenched in her hand. She backed out of his reach before his grubby fingers could even slip off the edge of the currency.

"Hey, I want to talk to you first. As you can probably tell, my partner and I are leaving. Since we haven't actually spent the night here, I don't see any reason to pay for the room. So, what we have in this large...pile...of...money," Temari emphasized each word by thrusting the yen forward then retreating when he reached out for it, "is the money you _**demanded **_that we pay you for your perceived damages. And that is all you'll get out of us."

He opened his mouth indignantly to protest, but she cut him off.

"You have no idea just who the hell you're messing with, shortstop. 'Cause I'm positive if you did you'd just shut up and be grateful I decided to give you this much. Do you have any idea what I could get my brothers to do to this place? I guarantee you'd never have another guest."

She had apparently struck a chord of some kind, seeing as the inn keeper's skin had just turned to the color of paper. Mint colored paper. He looked like he was about to throw up.

Suddenly, the little man lurched forward, vaulted over the counter and tumbled to the ground in front of her. With a strangled cry of surprise, Temari threw herself backwards and struggled not to fall on her ass as she reached for her fan.

Her hand closed around the hard frame and she reveled in the feel of the familiar...cotton?

"Damnit!" She swore as she released the starched collar of Lee's chunin vest and began to frantically search for her weapon. To the eye of the common observer it would look like the young blonde woman (or human packhorse, take your pick) was going through an epileptic fit while at the same time suddenly discovering she had a bad case of turrets.

Her flailing stopped abruptly when a sob rang out.

"Lee-san? WHAT'S WRONG LEE?!"

"FORGIVE ME PLEASE! I...I...didn't know who you were! Please, forget about my request! I should be the one paying you, honorable miss!"

"Eh?!" Temari swiveled around to stare at her "attacker" who was lying prone on the floor weeping into his shirt sleeve. The man crawled forward until he reached her foot which to her utmost chagrin he tried to kiss.

She sidestepped him deftly and retreated to the opposite corner of the room. To her utmost horror, he tried to follow.

"Honorable miss! Please don't tell your brothers about this mix up! I'll give you anything you want, just don't tell them! Have mercy! Please, have mercy!"

Her back (well, actually Lee's back) hit the wall and as she searched her mind madly for anything she could say to make him stop coming closer, something wet hit her foot.

_OH...MY...GOD! Well, finding Gi's dirty little secret has just been pushed off the top wrung of my awkward moments ladder. _

Before the man could kiss her again, Temari stuttered out in a strained voice, "I won't tell them. I won't tell them if you just...get...off!"

The inn keeper pulled his face away from her as if he had been about to put a hot coal in his mouth and stared up at her gratefully. Still bowed low enough that his lengthy eyebrows brushed against the floor, he crept backwards away from her.

She let out the breath she had been holding and moved away from the wall, glaring vindictively at the small crowd that had gathered to watch the scene as she began to make her way to the door (and more importantly, FREEDOM!).

"Do...do you swear that you won't tell them?"

The innkeeper's voice rang out just as she reached it. Temari turned towards him and, as a repeated foot molesting from the man was the last thing she wanted right now, she forewent her favored reply of "What, don't you trust me? I'm almost insulted." in exchange of the more vanilla "Yes."

With that she slipped out of the building and into the oncoming night, pocketing her rescued wad of cash (_YES! Month long vacation, here I come!), _with a self satisfied sigh before beginning down the steep hill.

And the young woman was so thrilled at her good turn of fortune (well, she _had_ lost her favorite outfit to the changing room lockers but it was ripped and stained anyway) that she didn't even notice the copious amount of drool oozing from her partner's mouth into her shirt.

**...**

The ornate screen doors flew forward and hit the opposing wall with a sharp crack before clattering to the floor.

Kakuzu stepped into the entryway and surveyed the area, kunai ready to slice his enemies to shreds.

But when nothing but an errant dust bunny (who was promptly pinned to the hardwood floor) ventured forth from the depths, the Falls-nin turned to send a baleful glare at his partner who in turn blanched and pointed down the hallway exclaiming, "Hey! You were there too. That guy said this was the bitch's room."

"Hidan." There was a promise of castration underlying those two syllables.

"What? Don't fucking look at me like that! You heard the asshole! This is it. Whoah, the fuck is that?"

Hidan shoved past the walking yarn ball so that he could get a closer look at the small pile of black _rocks? _in the middle of the room. The floor creaked dangerously as he neared the oddity.

"Careful, Hidan."

"Like you care what happens to me, asshole."

"Excuse me, what is going on here?"

Both Akatsuki turned to stare at an angry looking inn keeper. His beady eyes flickered from the two men to the cracked screen doors and the large dent in the wall and back to the men.

"I hope you don't think you're going to leave here without paying for this damage. All of it," he made a sweeping motion with his short arm. "And, I do believe you're leaving today, correct? Yes, I think that's right."

Kakuzu scowled (not that anyone could see it) at the inn keeper's words and turned to glare at his partner who shifted his weight defiantly and glowered right back.

Suddenly, a crack rang out and Hidan let out a confused yelp as he crashed through the floor and was enveloped in a cloud of filth. As the dust settled, an enraged cry rang out.

"_**Hidan!"**_

**...**

**Wow, another chapter up. So, I hope you guys like the story so far. Can anyone guess what's going to happen next? How do you think Kakuzu and Hidan will pay the inn keeper? Will Temari kill Lee before the end of the story? TUNE IN NEXT TIME!**

**...Okay then... I actually meant to have some Kakuzu x Temari and Hidan x Temari in this chapter, but it was just getting too long (this chapter alone is 4,149 words)...so I decided to save that for the next chapter. But, we got some Lee x Temari in this chapter (even though Lee was completely unconscious for all of it) and there was lots of foot and calf loving...which was not really something I was expecting to write...**

**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. For those of you who don't want to sign in, that's fine because I accept anonymous reviews. (Although please don't leave an anonymous review like-**

_**UR story sux! I hate u! :p**_

_**Signed,**_

_**UR WURST ENEMY, SANTA CLAUSE! **_

**Because I'm not sure I'd be able to take that level of rejection)...(or the vast amount of misspelling) ...**

**Since my goal of 50 reviews before chapter 4 will not be reached (most likely), I shall simply not make any more goals and I will let that one fade away into oblivion. So then, leave me comments, questions, or whatever else you want and I'll be sure to answer. So...I guess this is goodbye... **

**Waves goodbye tearfully as she is carried off into the sunset by Gai-sensei **

**Is only crying because it's Gai-sensei carrying her **


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